Nothing much to say at this moment. Just taking a break from my history project in an attempt to stay sane, you could say.

I've been putting up with some stupid, emphasis on stupid, emotional crap for no real reason other than the lovely hormones I get to live with. They just love fanning the flames of frustration I have towards my life...(I'm beginning to pity the people who put up with me and any man I end up sharing my life with when that happens. I should not be left alone while on the emotional rollercoaster. It does things.)

I've gone through some things with a friend; petty, petty things to be certain. I guess you could call the online hiss-fit an argument.
I was staring at my N64 while playing my PS2, and I realized that I gave said friend's brother a game he already had that I want back. Meanwhile, I have yet to return something of that friend's that she left at my house. She has made no mention of game, yet she wants said item back. She's already lost my first Sims 2 disc, meaning I can't install it if I ever want to. *has a revelation* Nevermind...I'm seeing my mom tomorrow, she lives around the corner from the friend...problem hopefully solved.

I know, the entire scenario is petty to the extreme. I just...I don't know. I've known her for five years, and I get we have our differences. I know for a fact I'm a bit different than I would have been this time last year.

This time last year I'd be hiding from my drunk mother, in hopes she wouldn't wake up and start with me or call for me and say incoherant things. Or I'd be out with a sober mother having an awesome time.
I have neither side to live with. I'm by myself for three straight afternoons and nights every other weekend. I have to do laundry. If I don't, it'll sit there and never get done. I have to get up early if I want to get the shopping done before the maniacs come out, or to get projects done so I have time to do stuff.
I've taken care of a gimped father, gave up my summer to do it, not that I had a choice. I've had to pick my mother up off the floor on more than one occasion, and couldn't because she refused my help. I went through some emotional hell for years, and I'm finally free of it. No more fear, no more dealing with guilt trips, no more freaking out for my life when I'm on the way home from a coffeehouse.

There are just some people who aren't meant to entirely get along, I guess. I've had to change, because my life was changing.

Maybe I find her annoying because I never spoke to her for a year other than emails. Communicating through a machine and then in real life is extremely different if you've known the person for years beforehand. To have her in a class now, and dealing with her conversations that go on during class, and just the times I wonder how the hell she could care about something extremely petty...I'm lost.

Or maybe she's lost about me. We've grown apart, as if I'm in Europe (I wish), and she's left on the Jersey Shore. There's a gap there, one that I don't think we can amend at this point. She was a fun friend when got along...

*sigh*

I think I need to stop being a cynic at some point.